that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
