you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please come you make the beer taste better
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
