i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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