I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize