:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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