hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
