My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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