Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
