Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
