Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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