thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
