How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
