apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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