he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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