We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
