I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
