these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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