Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
