I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
