We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
