Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
