Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
