i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He passed out mid-signature
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Green mimosas i think yes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
