girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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