shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
