im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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