She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
