i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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