Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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