We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
