Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
