my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
