you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
