I didn't shave. On purpose
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
