Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
