He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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