In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
