My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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