You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
