I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
