I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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