Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
