it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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