are you still at the devil's house?
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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