i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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