she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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