I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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