Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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