Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
