omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
