Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
