What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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