If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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