Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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