you would pick up someone in the library
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
