watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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