You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
