Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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