I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
