grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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