remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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